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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Disgusting and DisgustingER


In the beginning, Chris and Ems reminisce about the season. The Kalon confrontation... STILL the best moment in Bachelorette - or Bachelor, for that matter - history! The awkward Doug kiss. A really weird moment putting Shelly to bed. A reminder of Travis’ humor. The revelation that Arie’s brothers are mini-pervs. A promise of Emily’s running man after the final rose. Can’t wait!
We finally get to it. The men take the stage. Loving Wolf’s pink pants! Everyone asked has a comical story about their arrival at the house the first night. And then there’s Kalon. “You try to prepare yourself mentally and physically....” OH-EMM-GEE. Boom, he begins his psychobabble straight out of the gate. And something I must say that I have surprisingly never said before... those are the WORST veneers I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Mr. Ed, much?
Chris and Ryan get into a conversation about maturity and intentions and what-not, and what’d’ya know...Kalon busts in on the conversation to sing Ryan’s praises. Whaa, whaa, whaaaat? This guys is desperate for someone, ANYONE to have something nice to say about, or to, him. Good luck with that, loser.
Kalon gets the hot seat first. We get to see it again. That moment. The added bonus is that we get to watch Kalon seethe over it. This dunghole expresses his disappointment about Emily being the Bachelorette because she has a child. I know this is stating the obvious, but this guy is ONLY about appearances. A fairy tale he has drawn in his mind. Kalon is delusional on so many levels. “Everybody in America likes things to be sugar-coated.” Hmmm. Really? Because I, personally, prefer straightforward. I also prefer people who aren’t pompous, delusional, evil and downright worthless. Literally the most despicable human being I’ve ever been exposed to.
Ryan is next. The most arrogant person I’ve ever been exposed to. Are there really women out there who fall for his bull? I assume as much. He has obviously devoted his life to spewing incessant “charming” lines. I pity any woman oblivious enough to fall for any of it. In watching scenes from previous episodes, I heard nothing come out of his mouth that wasn’t some sort of line. Gross. His wish was to be portrayed as exactly who he is. Wish granted. One word, Ryan. Winning. One more word. Arrogant. I must make note of something very important though...he finally tamed his poof, lost the bump it, figured out how to style his hair normally. For that, Ryan, I applaud you.
Chris gets his time on the couch. This guy is what he is. I think he is a bit stuck up, has anger issues, and is nursing a serious chip on his shoulder coupled with an age complex. That said, I do think he cared, and probably still cares, about Emily. In the beginning, he seemed like a front runner. Seemed like a catch. But his attitude started to shine through, especially in his goodbye talk with Emily. He was hurt, I get that. However his reaction was more hateful than anything. But again, he did care.
Sean takes the hot seat next. As much as I teased this guy about his creepy flesh-colored eyebrows and his strange kisses, he’s definitely a catch. Watching their time together play out on the jumbotron, his charm and their connection came crashing back. Sadly, so did his heartbreak. On that couch, Sean said all the right things. Something tells me this guy won’t have a hard time finding someone to love.
Emily comes out to share her thoughts. She fought emotion as she talked to/about Sean. In her next comment she finally acknowledges her regret, having not given Doug that group date rose in London... the comment that would be her segue into addressing Kalon. Before this moment, I honestly feared that she would go all Southern Lady on us and be forgiving of Kalon, and keep her composure. Fear no more. Forgiving? Friendly? NEVER. She is not afraid to whip out her hood rat claws again. He begins his nonsensical psychobabble yet again, and just as I, sitting in my living room, called him a politician... Emily utters the words, “and you, my dear, should be a politician because that is the biggest load of bull**** I’ve ever heard!” I literally clapped in my living room. Clapped hard. It just got better after that. And when the Twitter drama aired, of course I went straight to Kalon’s Twitter page, of whom I am NOT a follower. He’s already taken that particular “baggage claim” post down (coward!), but in reading his other tweets...good gosh this guy is disgusting! Or rather, disgustingER!
Emily talks to Ryan next. She knows what a sleeze he is, but she finds so much humor in his antics that she is a bit forgiving of his playa nature. I almost giggle at him, too. I get it. But he’s still digusting.
Bloopers bloopers bloopers. I love blooper reels. Some funny stuff in those clips. But darn those pesky little black boxes. So annoying.
Harrison leaves us with a cliffhanger statement about the finale. Previews reveal a dramatic conclusion to this exciting season. I’m counting the minutes. I will pause during my vacation long enough to watch. I cannot wait. I’d love to hear your thoughts and predictions in the Comments section below! Until Sunday, friends.
My favorite picture this season....

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