O Brother, Where Art Thou?

WANTED

Hi, my name is Des and I am currently looking for a new brother. I need someone who:

• Doesn't wear a smirk 24/7
• Knows another big word besides reciprocation
• Knows how to act like a normal human being instead of a tool
• Has decent taste in tattoos
• Won't run off my boyfriends
• Thinks about someone other than himself
• Doesn't look and act like a Grand Wizard
• Has a dentist
• Doesn't think the word playboy is something people still say. It's 2013!
• Won't call my choices stupid
• Won't tell my boyfriends he wants to "holla at'chu"
• Isn't a complete D-bag
• And most importantly, doesn't act like this:

Sincerely, Des

WORST.HOMETOWN.EVER. Full recap up tonight!

Until then, let's think of how many different G-rated(ish) names we can think of for this guy. Throw your ideas in the Comments section below.

Until tonight, Bachelor fans!